Tire Irons and Tiger Lilly

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"I JUST WANNA SING SOME SONGS, FOR THE PEOPLE I LOVE AND GO TO THE BAR WHEN THE SHOW IS DONE" - Joe Iconis

Tire irons don't come in all shapes and sizes, but maybe that's a good thing. What does one need a tire iron for besides changing a flat? Well my friends I'll tell you. I could use a fucking tire iron right now. What would I do with it... Well hypothetically (I feel i have to put hypothetically in here because one time i put a short story up online in highschool and the cops came to my house to commit me because they thought I was going to demolish the school with a bleach bomb)... hypo-fuckin-thetically I would take that tire iron to the head of the douchebag in charge of keeping me and my fellow (recent) NYU alumni in fucking purgatory, while he stands on-stage and sucks the dick of the sound of his voice. FUCK FUCK FUCKING A JESUS CHRIST ON A FUCKING STICK IN THE RAIN GETTING POKED WITH A STICK BY A GARBAGE PERSON CLOWN!!!! AH GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE - I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND RELAX - AND BY RELAX I MEAN GO WATCH THE GAME AND GET CRUNK. Let me out of here... please God, what have I done to deserve such misery. I love this space though - I mean, Town Hall as fucking awesome acoustics... hmm random, yea. Ok Jared shut the fuck up. You shut up man, I'm just trying to look at the bright side here, it's a really great hall to sing in. Yea dude, but this process is like God taking a giant shit on my face and making me eat it.... wait ... I think I just plagurized myself, cause I somehow remember writing that exact sentence very recently.

Oh man - ya know these kids, these kids up here ( i guess we're not really kids, we're all around 21 here, but... yeah we're still kids; i don't wanna grow up... seriously I've got the hugest fucking Peter Pan complex in the world.... Seriously though I want to dress up in green tights and fly around fucking with Pirates and Indians all day... What would be the PC term for the "Indians" in Never Never Land? Native Never Never Landers? Yea... ok.... So seriously, I'd wake up, bake, take a morning fly around the island, go for a swim with some hot ass mermaids, then play some Baseball in the sky... hmm. Around noon I would totally go fuck with Captain Hook and then make it back to the mountains in time for a little tryst with Tiger Lilly before dinner.).......

Tiger Lilly rocks
All my dreams are found in her
Never Leave Never

Wow, ok that was like the longest fucking tangent in the history of tangents. What I was going to say though, was that all the people in this show/revue/showcase... revue? Concert. Ok, yes it's a concert - all the people in the concert are pretty cool and are all basically good and talented people to want to produce some art they can feel proud of, which I totally respect. Damn son, this shit is tearin me up - I wanna scream, or punch the wall, or masturbate and ejaculate in JFroomkin's eye socket so instead of crying tears, he cries jizz for the rest of his life. Wow, i really really really like that idea. And wouldn't you know it, what a coincidence, here's the talented Lauren Marcus and crew right in front of me onstage about to sing Mr. Snow again...

Mister Snow's herring
Come from his round-bottom boat...
My Fav'rite perfume

I shall return soon
Gots to check the Yankee game
Back in a flash bitch(es)

TRIVIA QUESTION:

HOW MANY TIMES CAN A DIRECTOR PISS YOU THE FUCK OFF BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY TAKE A TIRE IRON TO HIS HEAD?

Note: I realize that the last couple trivia questions have been quantitative problems and not as "TRIVIA ORIENTED" as they should be... but I promise, soon I'll have some questions that'll have you googling and wikipediaing your little hearts out... btw - there will be prizes awarded to anyone who answers correctly... prizes and treats and fun... ok - peace