The Paragraph: Microcosms of Travelling Lives (episode 2)

HOMELESS CONFESSIONAL

I used people to fulfill my self-indulgent, self-abusive wants. My home is a Best Buy Box. I robbed a hot dog cart on 72nd street for lunch. I have no prospects. I betrayed anyone who ever loved me. I took advantage, and now I’m stuck with the feeling that killing myself might just be the most sensible thing to do. Camus claimed that suicide rarely comes from contemplation, but I always believed myself the exception to the rule. I climb the fire escape of a nearby building. I am on the roof. I look out. I fall and suddenly, I feel immense sympathy for the men tasked with cleaning up my entrails.

The Paragraph: Microcosms of Travelling Lives (episode 1)

MEN'S ROOM

I walk through the Men’s room door. I jerk off in to the urinal. A man in one of the stalls hears me. I think he likes it. I know he likes it. I think it gets him off. In fact, I know it gets him off. I hear the rhythmic clicking of flesh on flesh coming from his stall. I smile and turn off the lights as I exit the room.

My Top Ten Films of the Decade

Hey All! It's December 31st, 2009. The decade is almost over. 2010 is just around the corner. Ten years ago I remember thinking to myself; "If I'm not an Indie music icon or a Broadway star or a critically acclaimed film actor by 2010, there's no point in living." Well my friends, it turns out that there are more important things in life than fame, fortune and an entourage. I'm trying to think of them... ah yes; friends and family. I'm grateful for the friends I've made, friends I've betrayed (and vise versa) and even the friends I've lost. No sense in crying over lost opportunities and missed chances. I'm still here aren't I? And that's gotta be better than NOT being here... although I heard somewhere that there's a 1 in 5 chance that we are NOT real. Same odds as a dentist shitting on Trident.

I'm thankful for the connections I've made. I'm saddened by the connections I've lost. But life goes on and you gotta pick your goddamn head up and move on; like a World War I Russian soldier in Siberia - pick up your fallen comrade's rifle and charge! Charge like there's no tomorrow... cuz one day there won't be a tomorrow - so enjoy today.

Wow - so this was supposed to be a quick little top ten films of the decade list and here I've gone and gotten all think-heavy on you.

This list is by no means the word of God - nor is it a list of "The Best films." No, it is simply a list of my personal favorites that for some reason or another have made a lasting impact on me. The order is subject to mood, I've already changed it around a dozen times, so you're gonna have to live with this one. Here Goes...

My Top Ten Films of the Decade: (Directors listed on the right)

1.) There Will Be Blood - Paul Thomas Anderson (name a better film actor than Daniel-Day Lewis. Go ahead. You tried right? And you can't.)

2.) Synecdoche, New York - Charlie Kaufman (Existential delight... and torture.)

3.) Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind - Michel Gondry (No words, just a tear. A long forgotten tear.)

4.) Kill Bill Vol. 1&2 - Quentin Tarantino (It's one movie to me and it's a masterpiece.)

5.) Lord Of the Rings: Return Of The King - Peter Jackson (Gotta give it up to this Epic film that deserves all the awards it ever got. Beautiful.)

6.) The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou - Wes Anderson (Who ze shit is Kingsley Zissou?)

7.) Master and Commander: The Far Side of The World - Peter Weir (Best film ever about life at sea. If you can find me another that's comparable, please let me know.)

8.) The Dark Knight - Christopher Nolan (All you haters out there, get over it.)

9.) No Country For Old Men - Joel/Ethan Coen (And then I woke up)

10.) Gladiator - Ridley Scott (Joaquin Phoenix MAKES this movie. Without someone that diabolically evil to play off of, Crowe would never have won the Oscar for Best Actor.)

Honorable Mention:

A Mighty Wind - Christopher Guest (every person who has one second of screen time in this movie is hilarious)
I've also got to give props to:

A Prairie Home Companion - Robert Altman (I've been listening to Garrison Keilor since before I could form contractions and Altman does his little show justice; the master's last great work in a storied career)

Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries - Michael Rymer (Even tho it's not a feature film, BSG miniseries gets an honorable mention. At three hours it was shot like a feature film and it's just as compelling as any feature film made in the last decade. All you naysayers out there, watch the whole thing. If you aren't compelled to watch the rest of the four season show's 73 episodes, I will eat my hat. It will be made of California Rolls, but I will eat it.)

Alright guys, there it is, my list of the best of the past decade... I'm sure I've left some of My favorites out as well as yours, but feel free to dish on it and let me know what you think...

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"Pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find you've collected nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make Today worth remembering."

It's the Most Wonderful Time of The Year!

Hey kids - it's that time of year once again to dust off the red and green shot glasses, down some whiskey and head on over to Ars Nova to catch the second annual Joe Iconis Christmas Spectacular! Honestly, both shows on Saturday December 5th and Sunday December 6th are completely sold out, but you can get in touch with someone involved (i.e. me) and perhaps we'll get your name on a wait list of sorts.

It's sure to be a special night for all who attend. Any show where you get to see Santa and Mrs. Claus work out their marital problems on stage is worth writing home about.

Aside from the that - the world keeps spinning and kids keep grinning. The off-season is upon us and the hot stove is cooking, so that means I have to find something else to do with nights other than watch the Yankee game... What's in the news lately... Hmm... Tiger Woods got busted for cheating on his wife... big deal. There's still a war or two on and our troops are dying. Tyranny and oppression still reign throughout the world and for some reason we give a flying fuck about Tiger Woods and where he sticks his 5-wood. It really grinds my gears folks. It really grinds my gears...

Ya know what else grinds my gears? The fact that I am not very good at Call of Duty. I'm watching my friend here tear it up and I can't get a single shot off without getting knifed from behind by some hole digger in the desert or blown up by mine own grenades.

Now - a new segment that lists persons, events or things that I'm currently diggin' on:

This weeks It List (without any explanation and in no particular order):
David Cone, Admiral Ackbar's cereal, the cool side of the pillow, The Joe Iconis Christmas Spectacular

Soon.. a poem

Farewell

The Continued Search for Inner Truth

Televisions glow in the fake midnight moonlight,
No one turns them off
Rains shoots down from a bleak unforgiving sky, unconcerned with the mud below
The voice on the radio has since grown dim and died
Gray snow falls on shuttered windows
Cracks of sunlight fight to be born, but no rays break through the clouds of nuclear winter
The world fades into darkness
The air thins and the penguins drown
The polar bears cannot find their way home

Delusional Prose

Something's missing here. I'm not sure what exactly. But something's missing.

There's a bit of an emptiness inside, a nothing that's starting to take it's toll on me. Maybe I need a change of locale. Or better yet, i'd love to have that procedure Jim Carrey goes through in Eternal Sunshine that erases memories that cause him anguish... That'd be nice - selective memory deletion. If I didn't dwell so much, I'd be a much more productive person - happier too. But ya know; there's something in my brain that's just triggered to dwell on loss - mull it over untill it's been fully mulled. My brain doesn't stop there though - even after the loss has been fully mulled - this old brain keeps mulling and dwelling over the loss. It's like grinding axel against pavement. The tire's burned away and I'm just grinding it out, trying not to notice the insanely bumpy ride.

I try and block out the bumps and skids and horrific screeching noise in my ears, but it won't go away on it's own. Left with nothing but myself, I remain dissatisfied. What's so wrong with loving external stimuli. What's so wrong with loving something more than you love yourself? I don't know. So I mull this over for a while and come to the conclussion that whatever conclussion I come to; I'll still be stuck with the loss, not feeling any better about it.

Conclusion: Ignorance is bliss?

Shall I continue to ignore the loss? Shall I pretend it doesn't exist, like you do with the proverbial woman who 'done you wrong?'

Can ignorance lead to enlightenment? If I block something out for so long, supress the emotions that these evil thoughts stir up, tell myself over and over again that the problem doesn't exist, will I eventually convince myself it's true? The problem... the loss will always be there, but if I tell myself it doesn't exist enough times, perhaps, in my head, that will make it so. Perhaps delusion is the key to salvation. After all, one man's delusion could most certainly be another man's truth.

So, I'll continue my search for inner truth, with a few delusions along the way. For the moment, I'll delude myself in to thinking that everything is gonna be alright.

Been such a long time...

It's been over a month, so i decided I'd throw up some videos that you can easily get by searching on Youtube, but hopefully you'll com here and pad my site hit count.

Here's me singing The Vagabond at the Joe Iconis Rock and Roll Jamboree at Joe's Pub on July 17th. Enjoy.



A week after the Jamboree I sang for my friend Eric March (who I've been performing with since we were both 11) at the Laurie Beechman Theatre at his show entitled "Eric March presents: Eric and Friends present: 9 New Songs 3 Old Songs and One Cover." It was hilarious. Here are a couple of clips.





See ya'll soon - Oh! I'm in a show on September 6th as part of "Effable Arts" 20-Something 20-Somethings - original songs - lots of attractive damaged people - it's in Manhattan so save the date!!! More info to follow -

keep on keepin' on