Smoke and Mirrors

Desperate Times Prose: Volume II

Regret Part I

What do you do when you're down and out? When you've been hurt and there's no reason for it; nothing you did. How do you deal with the pain of being hurt without proper cause? You find something, do something, to make you feel deserving of the pain. Who deserves pain? I don't know. If you hurt yourself you deserve pain, it's warranted. But what about when someone you love caused you pain? What can you do? You still love them - nothing inside you has changed - you still want them to be yours - But what can you do? When someone you love hurts you on the deepest level imaginable, where do you go? Who do you trust? A sudden realization, you've devoted yourself to an ideal that doesn't exist anymore. You find yourself grasping at straws, hoping somewhere in that person's eyes you'll find your love reciprocated. But when it's not there what do you do? What do you do? Do you hate them? How could you ever hate them, when you love them still, even after the immense hurt, the gut wrenching four in the morning screams of lonely agony caused by what... an ideal you believed in that doesn't exist? Something like that... SO what do you do? Do you hurt someone else? Do you try and love someone else? If you're still in love, how can you?
You want to break free, but you want to be pain free, guilt free, remorse free. But it's hard to be un-remorseful when you're greatest confidant decides it's time to move on. It's hard not to regret...

Look for more on Regret in our next post.

Till then...

Never give up? We'll try not to.