MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ARABIA

I wish i was t.e. lawrence in arabia fighting the turks in a white and golden silk robe - a robe of the beniwaj... i am not arab - no i am.... american? is that the idea? Someone tried to kill me the other day. I was driving down route 22 north towards home coming back from the super stop and shop in north white plains when i pull up to a stoplight at the intersection of route 22 and route 120 right near home... this douchebag in a blue fuckin van rolls down his goddamn window and says to me "who the fuck taught you who to drive!?" I simply sit there in my mother's white mercury mountaineer as he reiterates: "who the fuck taught you how to drive?!" - My father taught me how to drive sir, and he's a much more moral man than you... no in all seriousness i was probly tailgaiting this guy about a mile back, but really??? really??? "how the fuck old are you?!" "How the fuck old are you?!" so me... in my wry sort of holy-er than though attitude said "old enough to know you're a fuckin dick" - the light then turned green and we sped off down the highway - racing madly - i sped up and he sped up - i slowed down so he slowed down - this fuckin bastard prick who must have been drunk on somethin' rolled down his window (we're goin 65 mph by this point on the highway neck and neck - deathproof shit) and threw a fucking hard white object that looked like a block of ice on my windshield! what the fuck!!! oy vey what was this guy thinking - i'll tell ya "i'm gonna kill that white boy" that's what the fuck he was thinking - damn't!!!

we're racing down the highway Vanishing Point style except i'm in a soccer mom-mobile not a hot 1970 dodge charger... when he throws that white shit at my windshiled i slam on the breaks - i'm basically fucking the gaurdrail at this point - he cuts right and breaks right in front of me - i'm stunned sitting in my car at this point - cause this motherfucker just almost ran me in to the fucking guard rail - i'm thinking what the fuck is he thinking cause i could been killed! - all of a sudden this psycho gets out of his van and starts running towards me shouting "GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE CAR! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE CAR YOU BASTARD!" - if i wasn't scared before - i just shit my pants. Locking the doors i slammed on reverse and got about twenty feet before i realized this was a major intersection and there were about 15 cars right behind me... this bastards keeps running at me and screaming "get outta the fucking car, i'm gonna kill you motherfucker!!!" and starts banging on the hood - i try to go forward but he keeps throwing his body inbetween me and the road... Finally i make a huge right turn up on two wheels, skidding outta there... jeez man - what is the world coming to... maybe in retrospect i shouldn't have given him that smart ass remark about me being smart enough to know that he was a fucking dick... but still - i mean WHO TRIES TO RUN SOMEONE OFF THE ROAD!!!