Saturday, June 11, 2011

Junked up Prose

King Fix

"And when the blood begins to flow, I really don't care anymore." - Lou Reed

"Mmm, feels pink" said the Sweet Taste Nazi of Flatbush. "Do you take grass with your smack?" I asked. "Yes dear" replied the Taste Nazi.  
You've gotta try this new stuff - Is it pure? - It's as pure as you're gonna get around here - That's what everybody says -no one wants...
no one wants to tell you their stuff ain't pure - but the truth is - everything is cut with something these days - Can't trust the street... 
gotta know 'A guy'/someone always 'knows a guy.' Until they get busted or they over extend their credit &then they're askin if YOU know a guy
Ms. Kaye arrived to Tea early; and finding us with our pants down & needles in our arms she promptly started beating us with our own belts.

Awkward situation for us all:the pile of powder on the table/our broken promises strewn about the floor & her dashed expectations floating- through the air.
She went to the window and opened it. A breeze came through, blowing away our life savings. I managed to vacuum up about 2/3 of our take.

We'd have to cut it a lot more than usual.
An unexpected knock on the door was never a good thing. Could be the cops, could be a nosy neighbor, could be a homicidal maniac.
So we started cutting and pasting bits and pieces of different lives together.

The wet mooch turns out his eyes - looking for his friend to feed him some more brown liquor. Falling over tired hobos in the corner he... scrapes his knee.

His plump face, usually white from the sickness, grew a bright red, and popped like a french balloon. Another head grew out of his neck- and fell off his shoulders onto the ground. His eyes blinked.

The junk was flowing through me now/Advantage of my body may have been taken

Every now and then,refugees from the old apartment came around looking for a fix/I wouldn't help em/I wasn't in the business of fixing fools

The only fool I fix is myself.

Lone hobo looking for a new groove bangs at my window. I can't help him. Lonely writer looking for absolution at my table. Can't help.

The shit was really working good now.  Kim left and sealed us in with that 'dont you go anywhere till I come back' eye.  But after she left, we split anyway.
 and then the people broke in and stole my typewriter -
 



Ya gotta understand, this was 1991, the only drug free zone in that park was the wooden playground in northeast corner of the park...




Inside would be a precocious little bag of the purest shit you could get east of the Mississippi/After a while everyone started calling him The Gambler b/c of the little ruse with the chess game and bubble gum. 

We'd sit in the old apartment and smoke cigarettes till r lungs bled.

 More on that wooden playground in the northeast corner of the park: I'm convinced that as a child, I committed manslaughter on the swing set

It was a normal afternoon... juice, animal crackers, Raffi on the phonograph - and a one block walk to the park. I was particularly fond of the swing set. I rushed for the 2nd to last open seat. These swings were made of steel. The same shit used for steel fences.

I was thoroughly enjoying myself, swinging for the stars, ever higher and higher with reckless abandon, when out of the corner of my eye I spot a small girl, walking in front of the swings. I wished I could have stopped gravity, but unfortunately I do not have telekinetic powers;maybe for Khristmas.

The front of my steel rectangular swing seat collided with the front of this little girl's skull, sending her flying across the playground.

I was perfectly alright. There was blood on my Babar sweater. The girl's babysitter grabbed her body. The girl, no more than 3, did not move.

A trail of blood followed the pair to a cab by the arch. There was still blood on my sweater. My mother brushed it off like nothing happened.



I decided against calling my guy.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Days Past

My Brother: happy Mother's Day Mom.

Mom: We'll see.

My Brother: ok....

Mom: You smell like Pot.  You been smokin pot in my house?  You drug addict!  Get the fuck out of my house!

My Brother: Fuck You Mom!  If you call me a drug addict again, I'm gonna cut out your cunt and string you up by your ovaries, you castrating witch!

Mom: GET OUT!!!!!  I don't ever want to see you again!

-------------------------------------------------------------

My brother didn't come home for Mother's Day this year.

I, on the other hand, had a more enjoyable Mother's Day experience.

Such is the drama of Suburban America.

I envy my Mid-Western relatives' ability to get the hell along with each other.  They're mind-bogglingly conservative Catholics.  But at least they eat dinner together in peace.
They live their lives by the bible.  They believe in God, which doesn't bother me as much as the fact that they believe more in the people who pontificate and propogate war, nonsense, doom and risky fiscal opportunity all in the name of "Our Holy Lord Jesus Christ." 

I'd like to believe in God, in fact i used to.  But around the age of 5 when I saw my father putting out the Christmas presents; I figured that if Santa Claus didn't exist; there was no way that "God" (in the Catholic sense my Mother and her family taught me about at church) could exist. 

I can't believe in an illogical possibility when it concerns my personal fate and concept of free will.  And most theologians will tell you that FREE WILL is 'God's greatest gift to man.'  If that was true, there wouldn't be so much pressure and guilt to follow some old book's teachings lest you be banished upon death to the fiery depths of Hell. 

__________________________________


Have you ever seen that Simpsons episode where Homer becomes a genius and mathematically disproves the existence of God?

It's a good one.

_____________________

It's just about time to drift off in to that dark old cavern of my skull.  I'll lie down in a dank, wet corner and curl up with my dog Roflcopter.  My dog never judges me.

From the corner of my mind - to the spam pile in your inbox - good night.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

THE KILLING OF AN OFF-BROADWAY PRODUCER

Desperate Times Short Story Forum Presents:

THE KILLING OF AN OFF-BROADWAY PRODUCER (an excerpt from MUSICAL THEATRE PUNK)

I would shake and cough and twitch in rehearsal. Maybe I gave myself away. The producer didn’t like me. She cut me from THE show. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten myself so emotionally attached.

She was my first victim.

I learned I didn’t like hearing them scream while I sliced them up, so; If I knew things were going to get A) Messy or B) Loud – I took precautions.

I wanted to make sure this woman suffered.. I wanted her to feel the pain of my rejection. I knew this was impossible. She could never feel the way I felt. How could she objectively see what she had done to me? She couldn’t. But at least I could still torture and kill her.

I stuffed her mouth full of crumpled up Playbills and Gaff taped her mouth shut. The tears were pouring down her wrinkled old face now. I didn’t like hearing her plead – it tugged at my conscience.

I had seen an ad on late night tv for the 'Butcher’s Boy Blade', a knife so sharp that it could "CUT THROUGH BONE" (according to the ad) so I decided to test it out on sweet cheeks over here.

I drew myself closer and closer to her face – shooting her with my eyes, drawing out the moment of anticipation as much as I could before I started smacking her around. It was fun toying with her. She couldn’t speak, but her eyes begged me to let her go.

I raised my blade high in the air and brought it down with swift vengeance. She shrieked like a banshee and blood spewed everywhere; but that’s what tarps and gags are for.

I picked up her hand and started smacking it against her face.

“Hey. Quit hittin’ yerself. Quit hittin’ yerself.” Hah.

I cut her up and down her wrinkled shriveled body. She bled. She cried.

“Slice, slice, snicker snack. Here’s a blade across your back.” I sliced her diagonally from shoulder blade to hip; and she bled.

For the next few minutes my victim drifted in and out of consciousness. And I realized I had a rehearsal to get to.

She was trying to say something.

“What? I’m sorry I can’t hear you with your mouth gagged like that.” I ripped off the gaff tape, along with her bottom lip.

“Please” she cried “I’m sorry. Please don’t!”

Sweat and blood poured from the old woman’s head. She had pissed herself several times already and the room was starting to smell.

“You’re sorry?” I joked “Really? You’re sorry.”

“I was wrong. I should have –“

“Yes you were wrong. Oh so very wrong. And now you’re sorry…” I let out a sarcastic sigh. “Let me hear you say you’re sorry again.”

“I’m sorry!” she screamed through blood and tears.

“Not good enough.” I plunged the blade into her chest and carved out her heart; making sure she lived long enough to watch it stop, beating.

I made a plan to burn her remains.

Ah Rehearsal.

I feel a pop in my brain; then a loud pinging sound. It grows louder by the second – Black blood courses through my veins – I feel my head pulsing. The pain gets worse. My left arms goes numb and my feet start to burn. I grind my teeth from side to side and wish for a new stomach. Someone get this monster out of my head.


It’s a low sky out tonight; Foggy and bitter, like a head-cold.


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Home Alone with my Friends

Desperate Times Prose Series Presents:

Home Alone With My Friends

My blue friend makes me nervous

My white friend makes me still

My brown friend makes me dizzy

my green friend makes me chill

My blonde friend changed her hair - and now it's something dark;

like my soul on a Sunday night, chewing idea tree bark.

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Friday, February 11, 2011

Rock N' Roll Sucide

Desperate Times A SONG A DAY(ish) Series Presents: Rock N' Roll Suicide

We here at Desperate Times have and always will present You, the reader, only the most truthful emotional explosions.

Along those lines, we bring you our humble cover of Rock N' Roll Suicide off of David Bowie's album Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Done with just Desperate Times and the guitar... and a little distorted piano... and a few minutes of Garage Band. Enjoy another blurry video.



Maybe tomorrow I'll make a proper music video. Or maybe not.

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

A SONG A DAY(ish) Ballad of The End of The World

(Shameless Self Promotion)

I promised I'd be back tomorrow with a new post of an original song entitled: Ballad of The End Of The World. It's a simple little acoustic guitar melody off the as of yet unreleased Lithe As A Cat... let's say it's track 4.

I don't know how to post just audio on here yet, so I had to create a blurry music video on iMovie for the song. Click play. Enjoy.



maybe i'll be back tomorrow with a cover for ya... in the meantime - go listen to Things to Ruin

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Shameless Self-Promotion: A Song a Day(ish)

In an act of shameless self-promotion I've decided to post some clips of me performing. I'm going to try and post a new song every day... Most of 'em will be covers, but it'll also give You (the reader/listener/viewer) a chance to check out some tracks from Lithe As A Cat; my as of yet to be released debut album.

First up:
Haddonfield, 15 Years Later
Music and Lyrics by Joe Iconis - Live at the Beechman Theatre 1/28/11



Tomorrow: Track 1 off of Lithe as a Cat; Ballad Of the End of The World


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